From The Desk Of Sheikh Bilal
5 Techniques for Controlling Your Anger
Friday September 4th, 2026 | 21st Rabi-ul-Awwal, 1447AH
Issue #04
Anger is a tool of Shaitan, but it is an emotion we all feel. It can be useful when channeled for the sake of Allah, yet it can also become a source of destruction when indulged for the sake of the self. It is important to first understand anger for what it truly is — a real and present danger. Imam ʿAlī (عليه السلام) is reported to have said:
إِيَّاكَ وَالْغَضَبَ، فَأَوَّلُهُ جُنُونٌ وَآخِرُهُ نَدَمٌ
“Beware of anger, for its beginning is madness and its end is regret.”
He further explained:
الْحِدَّةُ ضَرْبٌ مِنَ الْجُنُونِ، لِأَنَّ صَاحِبَهَا يَنْدَمُ، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَنْدَمْ فَجُنُونُهُ مُسْتَحْكِمٌ
“Anger is a type of madness, because the person afflicted by it later regrets [what he did]. If he does not regret it, then his madness has become firmly established.”
— Imam ʿAlī (عليه السلام), Nahj al-Balāghah, Saying 255
With this understanding in mind, below are five techniques, drawn from the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (عليهم السلام), for controlling anger when it arises.
1. Change Your Physical State
Imam al-Bāqir (عليه السلام) said:
إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَغْضَبُ فَمَا يَرْضَى أَبَدًا حَتَّى يَدْخُلَ النَّارَ، فَأَيُّمَا رَجُلٍ غَضِبَ عَلَى قَوْمٍ وَهُوَ قَائِمٌ فَلْيَجْلِسْ مِنْ فَوْرِهِ ذَلِكَ فَإِنَّهُ سَيَذْهَبُ عَنْهُ رِجْزُ الشَّيْطَانِ
“A man becomes angry, and he does not become satisfied [with his anger] until he enters the Fire. So whenever a man becomes angry with a group while he is standing, let him sit down immediately, for the filth of Satan will depart from him.”
(al-Kāfī, Book of Faith and Disbelief, chapter on anger, ḥadīth 2. Graded ḥasan by Allāmah al-Majlisī in Mirʾāt al-ʿUqūl.)
2. Reconnect with Relations of the Womb
In that same narration, Imam al-Bāqir (عليه السلام) offers a second technique — using physical connection to defuse anger toward family:
وَأَيُّمَا رَجُلٍ غَضِبَ عَلَى ذِي رَحِمٍ فَلْيَدْنُ مِنْهُ فَلْيَمَسَّهُ فَإِنَّ الرَّحِمَ إِذَا مُسَّتْ سَكَنَتْ
“And whenever a man becomes angry with a relative, let him approach him and touch him, for when the bond of kinship is touched, it becomes calm.”
(al-Kāfī, Book of Faith and Disbelief, chapter on anger, ḥadīth 2. Graded ḥasan by Allāmah al-Majlisī in Mirʾāt al-ʿUqūl.)
This technique while specified for relatives, works with all people, as we’re all the children of Nabi Adam, there is some connection between us all. The closer the connection the more powerful the impact. Simply shaking someone’s hand or giving them a hug can help defuse our anger quickly.
3. Swallow Your Anger — Don’t Retaliate or Express It
Imam Zayn al-ʿĀbidīn (عليه السلام) said:
مَا تَجَرَّعْتُ جُرْعَةً أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ جُرْعَةِ غَيْظٍ لَا أُكَافِي بِهَا صَاحِبَهَا
“I have never swallowed a gulp more beloved to me than a gulp of anger for which I did not retaliate against the one who caused it.”
Imam al-Ṣādiq (عليه السلام) further quotes him:
مَا أُحِبُّ أَنَّ لِي بِذُلِّ نَفْسِي حُمْرَ النَّعَمِ وَمَا تَجَرَّعْتُ جُرْعَةً أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ جُرْعَةِ غَيْظٍ لَا أُكَافِي بِهَا صَاحِبَهَا
“I would not exchange the humiliation of my soul for the finest of red camels, and I have never swallowed a gulp more beloved to me than a gulp of anger for which I did not retaliate against its perpetrator.”
The imagery here is powerful. Being kāẓim al-ghayẓ — one who restrains anger — does not mean one who feels no anger at all. Rather, it describes someone who feels the anger fully but deliberately chooses not to discharge it against the other person.
4. Remember the Reward with Allah for Patience in Anger
Imam al-Bāqir (عليه السلام) said:
مَنْ كَظَمَ غَيْظًا وَهُوَ يَقْدِرُ عَلَى إِمْضَائِهِ حَشَا اللهُ قَلْبَهُ أَمْنًا وَإِيمَانًا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ
“Whoever restrains his anger while he has the ability to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with security and faith on the Day of Resurrection.”
The Prophet ﷺ said:
مِنْ أَحَبِّ السَّبِيلِ إِلَى اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ جُرْعَتَانِ: جُرْعَةُ غَيْظٍ تَرُدُّهَا بِحِلْمٍ، وَجُرْعَةُ مُصِيبَةٍ تَرُدُّهَا بِصَبْرٍ
“Among the ways most beloved to Allah, Mighty and Majestic, are two gulps: a gulp of anger that you repel with forbearance, and a gulp of calamity that you repel with patience.”
5. Think of the Negative Consequences of Your Anger
Imam al-Bāqir (عليه السلام) said:
إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَغْضَبُ فَمَا يَرْضَى أَبَدًا حَتَّى يَدْخُلَ النَّارَ
“A man becomes angry and does not become satisfied until he enters the Fire.”
Reflecting on where unchecked anger ultimately leads — spiritually and relationally — can serve as a powerful check before acting on it.
Anger itself is not the enemy — it is a natural emotion. What matters is how it is met: with awareness, restraint, and remembrance of Allah, rather than impulsive reaction. Using these techniques along with others can help us be better in control of our anger and keep away from the madness it can bring.